How I wish my town was a large city. If only every band I want to see would come here. I could have my mother drive me to the venue, drop me & friends off and if anything happened I'm already super close to home. Or I could go with Kara.
Why are the shows I want to go to always on Sundays?
You probably do not understand how overrated I find Paramore. They're not bad, some of their songs are catchy. Their newest video (Crushcrushcrush (more crushes?) sucks. And they have no lasting power really. You can't listen to them for a long time. Sorry all you people who love them. This time next year? Maybe not so much.
What I'm about to write makes me want to giggle... here it goes.
Why Andy Horst (from This Providence) and Me would be BFFL:
- We both love coffee
- I enjoy bubble tea, but having it only once, I shall not yet declare my love for it
- He is a big fan of Jesus. As am I, as am I.
- I love music.
- The Beatles
- I love mountains, hiking and swimming too.
- I hate drugs too, obv. not over the same circumstances
- He likes dogs
- I like at least 75% of the music on the list on his myspace
- The History Channel and the Discovery Channel are the only things I watch (besides House)
- I enjoy clif bars, reeses, and vitamin water. And fruit roll-ups.
- I'm a This Providence fan.
There you have it, why we would be such excellent friends.
I'm such a loser. ;)
Mason Musso right now, fo' realz foo'. =]
Speaking of Metro Station (sort of, kind of) my cousin said that Blake was the only one who had so far shown the ability to grow a beard. [Basically because I pointed him out to her because he's awesome.] Love it.
LAWLZ. Seeing Cobra Starship made me love them so much more. It was excellent. I forgot my camera though, so I don't have any pictures. And I didn't get to see anyone, or take obnoxious pictures with them on my phone. But overall, dancing my ass off and shouting/singing to Metro Station and Cobra Starship was wicked spectacular.
I don't think enough people danced. It annoys me way too much, but even when Trace (I'm pretty sure it was Trace not Mason) said "This song is made for dance clubs so let's make this one" or something to that effect, not everyone was moving. I mean, I suck at dancing, but the music is killer for it. =P
Oh, and:
Next time I go to Boston, I want to see more sights.
This is what I now own:
I'm too lazy to take a picture of the shirt I got.
I think I can't not enjoy youth. Sadly, it was a little weird today, because Jess wasn't there, and Kainoa was out. But Kara, JP, Cindy and I went to Starbucks, where we discussed faith and the book I'm reading, among other things. We didn't want to stay at the church, which is why we went to Starbucks. I wish there was one a little closer to home, but it's alright.
The book I'm reading right now is good. It's called The Last Season and it's really quite excellent, although I haven't finished it yet. It's rather sad though.
I was thinking about it today, and I haven't cried in a really long time. For me, anyways. At least, I can't remember having cried (like really cried) in quite a while. Weird. I get to like a breaking point, and then I get a weekend it seems. This next week is going to be tolling though. In the next 3 days, I have 3 swim meets. And then on Wednesday next week, exams start.
I'm a little worried, but I figure it will all work out.
I have decided that I enjoy the Decemberists quite thoroughly. They have grown on me. I only have the Crane Wife though, I don't know any of their older stuff.
But I suppose any band that is almost named after a Russian revolution (Decembrist not Decemberist) should be halfway decent. In honor of that, if I ever have a band I shall name us the Mensheviks. Just kiddinggg.
[edit: I suppose that truly to name my band after the revolution I would have to name it the Bolsheviks, but I'd rather be sort of obscure. I had definitely heard of the Bolsheviks before taking Modern Euro, but the Mensheviks? Not so much.]
Oh yeah, today my brother was doing work on his history class or something and he asked me if I had gotten my research paper back (no) and I asked him if he had gotten his (mini) one back (no) and what it was on (Francis Ferdinand). And so I ask him exactly what about Francis Ferdinand, and say just about all I know about the guy being like, so it basically said this?
I'm still not sure exactly what it was but my brother was like "How did you know that? I didn't know anything about him before I picked the topic..." Turns out, my brother would have known about Francis Ferdinand if the school had not reformed the middle school social studies curriculum. Oh I hate administration.
Then I tried to talk about WWI and my brother told me to shut up but much more nicely. And then he called history stupid. I tried to explain why history wasn't stupid (those who do not know the past are doomed to repeat it and so forth) but he didn't get it and I gave up.
Actually, this all started because my brother is learning about WWII and mentioned Operation Sea Lion... His live gamertag is asealion, and he was like "I wonder if people who know about it think I'm a nazi"... I voted for no, but who knows.
haha.
I think I'm going to work on getting back into the habit of writing a little every day. It really tends to help me sort out my emotions I think, and lately I've been pissy and awful to my parents for really no reason. And I feel bad but I'm just angry, so I don't feel bad until I think about it later. It's annoying.
I hate school work, and I just want this semester to be over. And it isn't really about not liking the classes, I just want to sleep. When I'm just going to hang out on the computer I probably should just go to bed. I need to work on sleeping more too. Seriously, 5-6 hours a night isn't cutting it. I never fall asleep before 11 I'm sure, and then my alarm goes off at 5:30, and I hit snooze until it's 6 and I need to get up. That's how it is.
Late new years resolutions I suppose. Better late than never, for this anyway. For most things... just don't bother at all.
I don't know if I really like them. They're decent I suppose. I'm supposed to be doing notes for Modern Euro. Oh well. It's almost over, thankfully. =| I was in such a bad mood this morning, I'm pretty sure I glared/threw a dirty look at the car behind my dad's when he dropped me off at school. I was just so pissed off to be there. =/ The day wasn't too bad, relatively.
I went snowboarding this weekend, it was good. Lindsey came up to Pico with us, so that was fun. The snow was pretty good, well-groomed certainly. The upper mountain was decent too, sometimes it's all ice (though it was getting that way-so i heard). =]
--------------------
and so we fall from the sky
wishing that we never cried
everything is failing
but we know where we are
and so i smile
and speak the truth
i've never known what to do
wishing on stars, hoping for a clue
memories, oh i wish you knew
every day is something new
i've found happiness is fleeting
and love is rarely true
someday we will laugh at ourselves
wondering what we thought we knew
but not wishing to change a thing
these are the thoughts the new year brings
quite alright. Despite the fact that this is being posted at an hour which usually has me writing shitty depressing poems about crap that doesn't matter. I hate modern euro, still though.
My swim meet today was excellent, though! Even though I feel like I was trampled by some raging hippogriffs ;) my times were back where they should be! We lost by a point though. :( Oh well, better luck next time. Hopefully we'll get our swim team sweatpants in tomorrow, I'm so excited for them. =]
Back to school.
Man, it sucks. h8 it.
But seriously, there are 8 days 'till exams.
What gives?
So how about I'm going to fail my Modern Euro exam.
Modern Euro makes me angry.
But after exams, Cobra Starship will save me (but not my soul).
i'm so br00+41, or rather, not at all. Zeros look like crap in this font.
How close is close enough?
I think I could listen to Taking Back Sunday for at least a month without getting sick of it. Maybe not.
----honestly, I sort of hate this.
And So The World Ended
We hide behind tired lies
Faces guarded behind tired eyes.
Every move a calculation
We know what we are facing.
There are clouds drifting through the sky,
Silently threatening rain.
Darkening the day
We fall with the rain.
Watch silently, the scripted actions.
Find the plot,
Each character with a name
A feeling you can’t explain.
Beyond knowing what is right and wrong
Feel the melody not the song
Every note drifts higher
Every note drifts lower.
We fall with the rain.
Ruins of a nation hold.
We live in desperation
There is no happy here.
Things so strained
How to explain
That things are not the same
We fall with the rain.
Hiding behind tired lies,
Faces guarded behind tired eyes
Clouds drift through the sky,
You feel sad, but don’t know why.
Silence in the words
And every verse a chord
Like drops falling down
We fall to the sound
And so the story goes
There was a great nation
And then the rain fell down
Find who survived.
We hide behind tired lies
Faces guarded behind tired eyes,
Clouds drift slowly by,
You feel sad, but you know why.
You feel sad. Do you know why?
You feel sad. Do you know why?
You feel sad. The clouds don’t lie.
You feel sad. We say good-bye.
i'm bored.
i'm so excited for january 20th.
and the end of february, around the 23rd i think.
it's going to be excellent.
i love the word excellent, seriously.
oh i went to swim practice this morning and didn't really do much, but amanda was working with a little kid on his freestyle, and our coach came up and he was like "your mom says you can stay another hour, do you want to?" (obviously, he was going to leave, he was really little) and he was like "i want to stay."
that was super.
every day is a blank page
watch me rearrange the world
i can try, i can try
every moment a blank slate
let me make a change,
i can try, i can try
every sound in my mind
out loud, in rhyme
wipe away tears,
come on and care,
a rainbow of color, in every smile
i can try, i can try
everyday is a blank page
watch me make change
i can try, i can try
i can try, i can try
i can try.
---
Everyone can make a difference. Simple things are worth as much as anything else.
music: bulls make money, bears make money, pigs get slaughtered - chiodos
come on and hold me still
i'm a creep.
Christmas has come and gone, and Santa (aka my parents) was good to me this year. =] Among other things I got a sweet mug, that has the Earth on it. And when you put coffee or whatever in it, the ice caps melt and the Earth starts to disappear! Sick, right?
Anyway, I spent some time visiting my cousins in New Jersey, and then in New York. NJ is where most of my Dad's family lives, while upstate NY is my mom's. On my dad's side there isn't anyone near my age. But my cousin's son Nick is so cute. He has the same birthday as me, which is pretty sweet.
So that was good, he got a light saber for Christmas from someone, maybe my family, and this is what he told me: "You have to be fast on your feet to be a jedi master!" He's 5. And I just made myself really sad. Oops. =/
But that visit was good. My aunt Ronnie was there for the first time in years, which means that whenever someone opens something they need to stop and show her, and explain if applicable.
In New York, we arrived Christmas Eve, no one was there. Christmas day, my brother and I sat around the house waiting for everyone to arrive. See, they were at home opening their presents. Yippee. There was no wireless internet without a password around either, so I couldn't get on the internet. =(
That evening I saw Superbad though, finally. It was decent. Maybe a little better than decent, but I just sort of hate movies I think if they're not animated. It really varies. Then yesterday I went to the movies with my cousins. We saw Walk Hard, and it was sort of disappointing. Oh well. I got a cute bag from my cousin, or technically my aunt, from a craft fair or something at URI when she went to visit. It was a rice bag originally, now it's this: 
Anyway, to wrap it up, tonight I saw the Simpson's Movie and it was good as far as I'm concerned. I sort of love Bone Palace Ballet right now, it's excellent.
I'm off to watch Law & Order: CI. Merry Christmas, Happy New Year! =]
Beyond the Moon
In the rain, you lied
I know.
It’s the same, what you said.
Nothing was right before,
Nothing is right, anymore.
I gave up this.
You wanted to leave.
Leave, leave, leave.
Leave, leave, leave.
Go, I know
You will not stay
Beyond the sun, the clouds I cannot see
Reality is beyond me.
And so, we part,
I know I have an empty heart.
There is no pain, no loss
Every song is a breaking heart
But mine is fine.
The wind is howling.
Trees bend in the breeze.
Do you know your limits?
I call and you seize.
Still, still, still.
Still, still, still.
Stiff as a brick,
Nothing wrong, nothing right.
So we call into the night.
Blasting beats, heavy drum beats.
Pound through your ears.
Moving in time.
We are so alive.
It’s the same, what you said.
Nothing was right before,
Nothing is right, anymore.
Leave, leave, leave.
Leave, leave, leave.
----
I need to learn how to not overanalyze things. =/ And deal.
Oh well.
Is it weird that I could make a long list of things i like? Or that I can try to describe myself in paragraphs that I don't know are true? Because I've never met myself. I have no understanding of how my actions are viewed by other people. On a small scale, people's reactions can tell me that, but really I don't know.
I feel like people describing themselves is somewhat of an impossible thing. You get to know people by talking and acting with them, not by reading lists of their favorite things and what they think of themselves and how they act. It's not real. Not most of the time anyway. People can easily convey their own desires, I suppose, and that can in turn, tell you a lot about a person. But really, talking is probably the best way.
This is my brief rant on why the internet is so shallow and superficial. Except for the fact that I found a friend on it. I'm a hypocrite just about 24/7 it seems at times. But I digress.
---
I think I'm going to see Cobra Starship w/Metro Station, We the Kings and the Cab in January! Yippee! So that's exciting.
Plus, I got a macbook today. Excellence.
It's really a mixed bag that I'm never home on Christmas. On one hand, I get to open my presents early, on the other, I'm never home on Christmas, and as such never get to open presents on Christmas morning. Maybe that doesn't make sense... But it does to me.
