i think i like it

Questions

Tell me that we'll chase across the sky
For the day that we will never lie
Something always hurts
But together we'll find the questions to our answers

We can't promise nothing will hurt
Or that a dog won't die at
The end of our story
But we can hope to find
What we're looking for

Hold my hand
Don't tell me that I'm wrong
You know we keep
Our hopes close to the surface
Wishing our lives away

Make me a memory
You keep by your side
That you'll look at the clouds
And see a day that passed by

And we search for the questions to our answers
In the sky full of stars
As we lay in the dark
Waiting for a spaceship in the hope
That someone somewhere wants us for us

Maybe we'll be ubducted
By aliens so futuristic and green
What a scene-what a scene
It would be, as we come back
Spouting off nonsense-no one would believe
But we would know better.

We can't promise that nothing will hurt,
Or that a dog won't die
At the end of our story
But we can hope to find
What we're looking for

Tell me we'll chase across the sky
For the day we will never lie
Something always goes wrong
But someday we'll find the questions to our answers
We can hope
We can hope



i think i like it

off topic

Can someone please tell me that I mean something? That maybe, I'm not as useless as I feel so much. That sometimes, I make people smile and they care about me...I just feel like a waste today. Just completely useless. Depressed I guess. I had ccd, which is always a bundle of joy. Of course. So I have to start going to church every week in June. Which completely sucks, because pretty much I'm the least religious person I know (except for a few atheists)...I mean, I barely believe in God. How catholic is that? Religions are just a way to make people feel like there's a reason that they're here. And sure, higher power and what not would be interesting in theory. But frankly, I don't like worshipping someone I've never met. And then I wouldn't want to worship them, because they'd probably be disappointing in person. Wow, I suck at being any bit religious. I'm going to hell. Haha. Yeah, so maybe since I'm getting confirmed next year, I'll somehow find the importance of God and Jesus and a religion in my life. Maybe. I doubt it.

apparently i'm radioactive

> WARNING

Sarah J is radioactive. Wear protective clothing at all times.

Username:

From Go-Quiz.com

it looked better in color.

i can't really say

I think I just want to mess something up really bad. I don't know why, but destruction seems absolutely beautiful to me right now. Just to see something shatter into tiny little pieces too small to reconfigure into the original shape, too small to know what the object was. It sounds wonderful right now. It would look amazing and sound destructive and I would feel better and everything would be better. Just a little destruction. Just a little chaos. I just want to fuck something up. I couldn't say why.




So the show tonight (which was for charity) was shutdown because of some idiotic fire code. So that wasn't fun. But I bought a sweet Verbana Darvell t-shirt. So it's a little compensating, but I don't know the name of the last band that played (they got to finish their set before we had to clear out). And I liked them too. Oh well.

neww

So I managed to basically totally change how my blog looks. It's kind of messy, but I'm not wonderful at html and basically just changed the links to my own pictures. Which I made on paint (gotta love that program). Anyway, that's about it. =]

eh...

...and sometimes I think about one person for hours, just because of one line taken in a certain context means something to me. And I hate making something out of nothing cause I'm setting myself up for a fall. I'm finding it hard to ignore, but I don't want to be wrong. As unlikely as what I want might be. So I'm pretty, confused I guess, depressed perhaps, in a sense. Life is just so bland these days, and I'm no less than apathetic. So maybe I'm not helping in things, but neither is anything else. I can barely stand the people I'm forced into contact with every day through a wonderful thing called school [note the sarcasm]. Certainly, there are people who I don't mind, quite a few in fact, but everyone else? They grate on my nerves. And then there are people I wouldn't mind seeing but never do, and haven't in a while. Including the person who's on my mind. But I was never rational anyway. So why should I start?


Common courtesy
don't ask, don't tell.
The lies you say
Are the secrets we sell.
And it makes no difference
Whether you find out.
You'll never close your mouth,
You'll always shout it out.
It's not like it's true.
No one cares, but you.
You're being used.
But we don't abuse it,
The privilege of a million lies,
Worth more than a diamond mine or two.
Worth less than what they're worth to you.

So I was a little bored. As I just wrote that. I don't have homework. So I don't really care.

-Sarah J

if looks could kill you'd be a murderer

quizzes!

so incredibly bored! so this is what i'm doing: quizzes.

You Should Be a Song Writer

You have the ability to evoke emotion, tell a story, and hook someone... In a very small amount of words, perhaps with some deft rhyming. Even if you can't write music, you can sure write compelling lyrics. Lyrics so good, people will have them stuck in their heads!

What Type of Writer Should You Be?

You Belong in Paris

You enjoy all that life has to offer, and you can appreciate the fine tastes and sites of Paris. You're the perfect person to wander the streets of Paris aimlessly, enjoying architecture and a crepe.

What European City Do You Belong In?

Your Ideal Relationship is Serious Dating

You're not ready to go walking down the aisle. But you may be ready in a couple of years. You prefer to date one on one, with a commitment. And while chemistry is important, so is compatibility.

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

Your Theme Song is Back in Black by AC/DC

"Back in black, I hit the sack, I've been too long, I'm glad to be back" Things sometimes get really crazy for you, and sometimes you have to get away from all the chaos. But each time you stage your comeback, it's even better than the last!

What's Your Theme Song?

You Are an Emo Rocker!

Expressive and deep, lyrics are really your thing. That doesn't mean you don't rock out... You just rock out with meaning. For you, rock is more about connecting than grandstanding.

What Kind of Rocker Are You?

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"I dunno, press the button and find out."

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?


So that's enough for now. =] It was fun.

what i just wrote.

it doesn't even have a name 'kay? But here it goes:

So I'm filled
with regrets
and a little
depressed I've
got life on
my mind again
I've got my
shredded heart
thinking that I'll
never love again
'Cause nothing could
compare, no
nothing could
come near you.
And I laugh at
myself 'cause I
am a waste of
wasted space and
I can't keep
my mind on what
I'm supposed
to be thinking
My broken hearts
Aching I feel
like sinking into
nothing. And
all because
I saw you again.

Now imagine that, spelling, line structure and all, written messily on a one and a half inch wide space of paper, and you get what it looked like.

my words

This is what I liked out of the poem I wrote today
What it started out of:

I bid you adieu
As you put on your shoes
Another night of bliss
We've got to stop meeting like this.
But with your kiss
Lingering on my lips,
I can't say I mind.

It kind of went on for some more, but thats what I liked of it. It got into my head this morning so I wrote it down. I have to say that I do like it. =]

And this is the quote I found today that I now LOVE:

Age is opportunity no less
Than youth itself, though in another dress,
And as the evening twilight fades away
The sky is filled with stars, invisible by day.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

So today was good, and I don't have any homework this weekend, so life is good as well. And I have someone on my mind, but I'm not sure why.

I wish you well in your endeavors.

Sarah J<3

and today is...

no regrets or mistakes
only words i can't fake

I have a bio project, that I should be doing but I'm not. Nothing is going on at all. I went on a run today. Yippee. That's about it.

my hope is on vacation
maybe hawaii, the bahamas, or jamaica.
i'm sure it'll have a nice time
without me on it's mind.

so I'm extraordinarily bored. That's what it comes down to. And I'm just not doing what I should be doing. But I think I'll manage.

-Sarah J<3

argh...

I was looking at what I posted...and the spacing is crap. Whatever I don't have time to fix it. :/

what the hell?

I don't really have anything to say. I was just looking at my blog because....um I don't know So anyway I decided to post something....

I'm learning how to juggle! Which is one of the only entertaining things in my life, but it's fun. It's like 10:40 (pm) and I'm kind of tired because I've been up since 5:40 this morning, and I kind of want to sleep but obviously I'm typing instead. My school vacation starts next week which is pretty awesome. Only 4 days since Good Friday exists. I'm hoping my teachers don't give a lot of homework. I know in Italian we're watching a movie the last 2 days, but I'm suring we're not doing that in Bio. My Math teacher is nice, but we're going to do work in that too probably. Jazz band nothing's going to happen in though.

So I have CCD, 'cause I'm Catholic right? So we're watching a movie in it and our classes are 1 1/2 hours long. The movie is called Jesus, and has to be the longest movie I have ever seen, we've watched it for at least 2 1/2 hours and we just saw the last supper. Granted there isn't a ton left but still, there's something wrong with that. Plus, my next class is wicked far away so I probably won't even know what's going on.
I'm trying to convince my friend Micheala to wear her 'love can't save you' hoodie (w/'only my
new powers can' on the back [Pete Wentz has it I guess or made it or something, whatever]
from clandestine industries [www.clandestineindustries.com]) to CCD. She's scared too
because she thinks it'll make our CCD teacher mad...and since she controls whether we get
confirmed shes scared. Well not scared, more like scared of the reaction. We have an ongoing
joke about it.
So anyway, we're bringing alien and sonny moore cookies to our next CCD class to eat. [Don't ask how we came up with that one] Just for us too, not the rest of our class. They probably don't even know who Sonny Moore is, but that's besides the point. So that sums up about all I have to say about CCD.

...I just managed to write more than I ever thought I could about CCD and now I think I'm going to go to bed because clearly my sleep deficiancy has addled my brain more than it should. :)

-Sarah J<3

so yeah.

I Don't Fear You

Don't tell me. Don't tell me.
I don't want to know.
Let me believe my fantasy.
I know that it's all for show.

Who's lies are these
That you hold near?
It is not you
That hold's my fear...

You don't scare me,
No. no. no.
You don't scare me,
No. no. no.

Give me the answer,
Don't tell me those lies,
Now tell me those secrets
I don't want a surprise.

No I don't.

Who do you think you are
Up against, my friend?
No, no, no. I don't pretend;
About things like these.

Here let me put you at ease,
I couldn't care,
What you could say,
You're not what I fear.

You don't scare me.
No, no, no.
You don't scare me.
No, no, no.

You don't scare me,
And what does
You'll never know.

_______

Boredddd. x23420395
But not much I can do.
New Englands tomorrow.
Still hasn't sunk into my brain,
That I'm actually going.
But that's how I am.
Later everyone.


Sarah J <3

...

so i could write half-way decently before.
what a surprise. but no.

your eyes aren't half-alive as they were before
maybe you shouldn't drink anymore

so life's good now...
as far as i can tell
+ everything is going pretty well
...as well as can be expected

and everything i have
isn't too much less
than everything i want
and you couldn't exactly say
that my life is a mess...

math is good
because my teacher hasn't been here
so i listen to music
because the people who sub
are nice

-sarah j<3

stuff

poems from my old blog. [fonts are messed up x389345]

Catch the Trouble
It's too blue,
Trust me,
It's too much for you.
Sudden disappointment,
Downfall of dreams.
Uncontrollably happens,
Falling down
And losing ground.
Easy.
Pick yourself up,
Start down your path,
Once again.
Never mind the trouble
That's all around,
'Cause it's too blue,
Too blue for you.

Now
Fashion disaster
Front-page news
Unsaid words
Hidden clues
Guessing game
Pick and choose
Listen to
Win and lose

whatever works

So today's the day before vacation. Which is pretty awesome. Except for the fact that I probably won't be able to swim until two weeks from now. Which is really crappy. But vacation is good. So it could be worse I suppose. Everything's going pretty well. No fake drama to make people's lives more interesting, which is always good. Things could be better, but I'm just hoping my collarbone heals alright. <3


Nothing is Forever
Can't chase away the rain
Can't take away the pain
Is there anything that I could do
Do just get out of your game?
It's too much to say it hurts
Not enough for it to kill
But I really know now that
I could not understand
Anything you plan to do
It's raining and pouring
But not outside
Your angry. Your storming.
Everything's a lie.
To you.
You believe what you hear
But not what you know.
You keep everything
And never let go.
You never let go.
Never let go.
Well I'm letting go of you.
I can't chase away the rain
I can't take away this pain
But I can leave your game
I'm letting go of you
I don't care if you want me too.
You will never understand
The things I do.
You believe all you hear
You keep everything near
You muffle the noise
And deaden the pain
You're smothering me down
And I can't just stand around
It's too much to hurt
But not enough to kill
I must be getting ill
-it's a sickness.
You never let go.
Never let go.
Need to let go.
Let go of me.

...:::///|||\\\:::...

Sarah J♥

good-bye

Why won't you reason with me?

Your voice feels freezing to me.
I can't stand this fight any longer.
Go home. It's all a farewell.
You're right. You're wrong.
I don't care if it's true,
I cannot stand you anymore.

Lovely weather we're having,
Why can't we just talk?
Remember us laughing?
Those times are long gone.
Your anger is confusing me,
What did I do wrong?

So long, it's all a farewell.
I don't know what's true,
But I can't stand you
Anymore.

...:::///|||\\\:::...

something old.

(c) sarah j 2006

fake people

Everyone says that they "hate fake people" on their myspaces or whatever they have. And all the people that say that are the people who are about the fakest you know. It's really ridiculous. I mean, people who are fake are only fake because they are too insecure with themselves to be who they really are. Why should you hate someone who's just a little too selfconscious? Wouldn't it make them feel worse? I think so, but I guess I could be wrong. I don't choose to hate fake people I guess. I don't really choose to hate anyone. If they hate me then I don't like them that much. But I don't hate people without knowing them. Like some people.

And high school is a joke. Seriously, the people I know create so much drama in their lives that it's a laugh. I just don't see why half of the stuff matters to them. And people talk behind other people's backs and pretend to be friends. But they're worse enemies then the people who fight all the time. And isn't that the same as being fake?

I don't understand any of it at all.

-Sarah J

...:::///|||\\\:::...

finals

So exams are coming up right? And I'm exempt from 2 of them: English (thank god) and Conceptual Physics (I'm pretty sure). So these are my first two classes so their exams are on Friday, which means I don't have to go in. But I have to go in on Monday because my 3rd and 4th block teachers aren't exempting. Which kind of sucks. But whatever. And I'm really bored which is why I'm posting.
I don't really know what I'm going to do next semester. I have Bio 1 and Algebra 2 (both honors), and Italian...on the brightside though I have a study hall which I didn't have this semester. I'm lucky to be exempt though now cause next year I don't think I'm going to be able to be exempt. Oh, well.

what does this do?

Sarah J

argh.