i hate this time of night.

i have so much to say
to everyone i know, everything i feel
i feel so much
and if i said, everything i could
where would i be?
would you still like me?
because i do not know
and fear fills me up inside
this is dread--i cannot hide
there is no escaping my own mind
and i want to talk about it
my fear comes from the very thing
i want to say this and that
i take things to seriously
i over interpret everything
i want you to love me for me
i don't know where these words come from
tears are falling from my eyes
i am sick of not knowing what to say
when all the words in my head are arranged
forming sentences and words
that you would hear, you could hear
if i told you...
but i am filled with fear
your voice is so near
i am overwhelmed
i am overwhelmed
keep talking so i do not have to speak
i fear this moment,
will i be well received?
i want to know how you will respond
to what i say before i say it.
and then i could tailor my words
to the reaction i want
not have this dread, that keeps me from saying everything
i over think everything,
take in attention, i just want affection
i don't know where I'm going with this
i have so much to say
to everyone i know, every though in my mind
i could talk for days, trying to explain
i would never finish
but I'm scared, how would it fair?
i am filled with fear--i cannot hide
there is no escaping, this is my mind
forgive me i babble,
I'm trying not to hit anything too important
while I'm talking,
in case anything should slip
that i would rather not be heard
because i fear my words
would be taken the wrong way
you do not know. you do not know,
i have so much to say.

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I feel like shit.