save this!

i'm gonna throw myself headfirst
into this - to see if i sink or swim
if what you say is true;
please don't let me drown

we're so fucked up

i miss the simple times
when there wasn't too much homework
and you didn't have to stress over stuff
like i have to have two examples
for each of the 24 requirements of
a portfolio i need to graduate.
the portfolio basically has no
practical use. so i want to go to
college for say, pre-med and what
can i hand them? a sample of
poetry. yeah that's such a useful item
to have. i dislike our school board
and most of the people in my town as
they are ignorant and cannot make
good decisions, or refuse to.
it's horrible though, because
America's future is going to be in
my generations hands at one point
and if we're not well educated,
well, let's just say it's not going
to be pretty. If everything goes
well, we'll be coming into a mess
in the middle east or the end of it.
If everything goes better than
well, then my generation shouldn't
even have to deal with the aftermath
to Iraq. But with Bush in there for
another 2 years and who knows
coming in next, it's not looking good.
I decided that I'm going to write a book.
About how society is ignorant of most
things, and the only way to abolish
this ignorance is to...I haven't got
that far yet. Too many things wouldn't
work. It'll be good though.
Look for it.

i can't write anything not at the spur of the moment anymore. no taking out my notebook just scribbling on random paper or pulling up my blog. my notebook will never be full because of it. the other one was filled with angst. i guess it helped. or i would be able to still feel it. it doesn't hurt to read what i used to write but it makes me wish i could still write like that. even if it isn't the best work. but i suppose i should be happy and i am. i mean i really try to be. and i'm not depressed unless i let myself dwell on my thoughts and the past and the now. so really, i'm just better not thinking at all, or about trivial things. its frustrating.

i dont want to get old [ever]

and can we tell when it all falls down
when the lies fade into truth
and when the skies begin to blur
in tales of forgotten youth
and if we know all that we've known
forever, can we prevent
the failing of all the knowledge
that our whole life went un-spent
and if we forget the dates
and all the tales we told
can we not also forget to live
as we grow old

car crashhh

sometimes i feel like a car crash waiting to happen
all i need is a stoplight to go racing through

=0

the fonts on the post below weren't cooperating. and probably not in this one eitherrr. =0

tbs [taking back sunday]

we're gonna die like this you know
miserable and old

yeah they're so mainstream now but no one listens anymore so it's alright the lyrics are completely awesome

intro to stats

another teenage heartthrob
another teenage lost cause
what is wrong with the world?
something's wrong with all these boys and girls
can we help it? the world's so messed up
adults so stressed up-
can we say what's wrong
can we know what's going on
the problem's in us
the problem's with us
we can't stop
going forward-going forward
never backwards-opening new doors


unfinished. wrote it in class.

i dont know

dont remind me of
all the things
that i wish
i could be
what once was
is not now
what once was
is impossible to take back
what was said i regret
what was done i forget
you and i
changed that day
i never see you anymore

all alone
on a street corner
you wait by the buildings
and you stay and you stay
while the night gets dark
and you're walking away

i arrive
much too late
no explanations
can change fate
and i lose all i've lost
to this day
i've never regained
what i've done

and it's regret
not joy that fills these eyes
with tears tonight
on the anniversary of all that once was
all that i've done wrong

you used to smile
used to forgive
everything i ever did
and i know i wasn't nice
mean but fragile would suffice
not broken but still cracked
life is like that

you waited all alone
on that street corner that night
by the buildings
you stayed and stayed
as it grew dark
and then you walked away

i arrived much too late
to save you from that fate
and i lost all i had
to this day never regained
and all i can say is sorry
and that i regret the mistakes
that took you away from me


so that's that
not much more to say i suppose
later i'm gonna post something i wrote in class
it's not finished because the teacher started
saying something that i probably didn't need
to listen to but did.
i can't help but wonder if what i write
is like the taking back sunday lyrics i was listening too:
"those words at best
were worse than teenage poetry
fragment ideas
and too many pronouns"

i am

a mess
and i should be sleeping
sleeping off the sadness
sleeping off the waste of my life
yeah that's right.
it's all true.
it's all very very true.
i just wish i knew
someone who could tell it.
but there's no truth left
no truth to the lies
no truth to this life
walking contradiction
wish i knew what that was
wish i knew who i was
who i am. i dont care.
who could care now
i'm a mess now
mess

something or other

race of your life
time races races races
faster faster than we can keep up
than we can keep up
we're slowing down slowing down
and so out of breath
(when will we catch our breath?)
no respite from the feeling
no respite from the emotion
it's all going down the drain
we're all going down the drain
back to the drawing board
we remember what once was
what it is now can we tell
how can we tell
time races faster faster
we can't keep up
we can't keep up the pace
we need a pacer
not another racer to pass us up
we're losing ground
slower and slower till
we're underground
no longer out of breath
we can finally rest
but it's not for us
death ignores us
so we race race race
'till our dooming final day
'till that gloomy final day
may we find respite



hmm...idk if it's any good, but it feels good to be writing again.
i feel like crap
not physically though.
the speakers on my computer have gone awol.
well actually the sound has.
headphones won't work either.
i have no idea what the cause of this phenomenon is.
[nothing is muted thankyouverymuch]
though i'm a little worried that itunes is involved.
either way. unhappy. no music.
the song i love that i put on my myspace won't play.
itunes wont open. (i exited it earlier because it was being stupid)
carlos mencia is ridiculously funny.