confused

I feel so strange. And detached. I went on a run today, and I didn't feel like going my normal route. So I took a right where normally I would take a left, and got somewhat lost. I ran for an hour and 2 minutes. I had some aches at the beginning and at 30 minutes when my legs thought I was done, but other than that...nothing. salkhjgd I don't know how to explain what I want to say. It's killing me. Not literally thank god. But it's just this feeling as if something has gone wrong. Something is not right. I am not right. It cannot be helped however. And I can't find the right music to help me feel better or more like me. I'm not happy, sad, apathetic or any emotion. Well...not an emotion I can think of. Unless confused counts, but I think that's more of a state of mind. I don't know. I don't like not knowing. I like facts and clean cuts. My run today was good because it was a break from that. I don't like knowing where I'm running or how long it is or how long it should take because that knowledge sucks. HATE HATE HATE. That's an answer to that. Not what I'm feeling but what I feel of knowing how long something should take and then being slower. RAGE RAGE RAGE. That's the answer. ANGER ANGER. Coursing through my veins wanting to be let out. Wanting to destroy. BREAK BREAK BREAK something beautiful. Like fight club. My favorite book. AWESOME. anger anger anger...consuming me. I don't express my anger a lot. I think I have a lot of pent up rage, but...I could be wrong. I'm no psychiatrist or psychologist. I want to punch my keyboard to bits. Gone. Now.