is now my favorite book. ever. i just really connected with all of it. it amazed me. tyler durden is my hero. i don't really like to fight. i'm not a person who gets into fights. but i can understand the need to destroy. i would like to destroy people sometimes. sometimes i would like to be beaten up. the book just makes so much sense to me.
I'm watching my feelings walk away
They said goodbye They say goodbye
I'm done with all the drama
I'm sick of all the lies
Pass down another sunset
Pass out onto my bed
Wake up to hear the birds chirp
Melodies in my head
Step out and watch the sun rise
Step out and watch the clouds come
Another day has begun again
Again again
Wish away the lifetimes
They all were too much
It all was too much to remember
I never remembered all the words
You said in each verse
Trying to make me stay back there
With you
And I got lost in an alleyway
Trying to get home
I never found the way that night
I trace the clouds in the sky
As secrets that might hide
The answers that I really want to know
That I really want to know
Pass down another sunset
Pass out onto my bed
Wake up with the sunrise
Wake up to see sunny skies again
Again again.
I need something to do. So I would write but it requires leaving my computer. So I'm doing this. I went to the beach today for the first time in foreverrr. It was pretty fun. I'm making a playlist on itunes for my mood instead.
So...I haven't blogged in forever. For the past 26/27 days I've been up in Maine at a camp. Without computer access or my music. It was heartbreaking. But I traveled the Allagash River and completed the Mud Pond Carry as part of the first group from Camp Wavus (for Girls).
It was definetely one of the best experiences of my rather short life. I am no longer afraid of the outdoors and want to come back as a counsuler for sure. I did acquire a healthy fear of moose though, as we saw 24.
On our last day we rafted down the East Branch of the Penobscot which was incredibly fun (class 4 + 5 rapids).
It was just an overall amazing experience and though I'm happy to be home I miss my cabin incredibly and just being at camp. It was a 15 day trip so we were away for the longest of the whole camp (we were also the oldest). 24/7 for 15 days with my counsulers and my cabin made us majorly close.
I didn't really have a lot of time to write at all. So no poems or anything. If it's possible I was a lot more happy at camp then I am now. I just have so much time to dwell on everything that it's really killing my mood. =[
So I'm blogging because I want to talk to someone I know but am not wicked good friends with and I'm bad with words so I won't because I'll say something wrong and mess up what is and feel worse.
Agh. I'm a mess. I thought I was better than this. And I'm not. I'm slowly killing off all the good in my life. I don't know why. WHY?
