for the record

First Day of My Life isn't my favorite Bright Eyes song, but it seemed (and still does to an extent) appropriate.

yo!

this thursday (may 1st)= the almost
sweetness!
may 11 = ap exam
not so sweetness!
may 12 = jen's b-day party
sweetness!

and some other sweet stuff. i'm happy.

anxiety =/

I'm nervous. Not for anything specific, but a general nervousness. As if something is going to give soon. An anticipation of an unpleasant event. I know an unpleasant event in my future, but it's not the type to give me this churning pit in my stomach. I don't like it. =|

long time no see

So, it's friday (almost saturday), two more days of vacation left. Tomorrow, my friend and I are going to webster theatre in Hartford, to see Cute is What We Aim For, As Tall as Lions, Envy on the Coast, and Circa Survive (AP Tour). I'm super excited!
I have refound my love for the faint. (My about me is from Violent by the Faint.) And I'm very upset at Virb.com's slow speeds today. Not loading artist's music or videos (I really wanted to see Confines by PlayRadioPlay!) That was sad. Though Virb is quite fun. That's all the news I have.

Slight interlude:
Here's the music video for the name of my blog (by Bright Eyes, who else?), the lyrics are below if you'd like to look. (I love looking at lyrics.)



First Day Of My Life

This is the first day of my life
I swear I was born right in the doorway
I went out in the rain suddenly everything changed
They're spreading blankets on the beach

Yours is the first face that I saw
I think I was blind before I met you
Now I don’t know where I am
I don’t know where I’ve been
But I know where I want to go

And so I thought I’d let you know
That these things take forever
I especially am slow
But I realize that I need you
And I wondered if I could come home

Remember the time you drove all night
Just to meet me in the morning
And I thought it was strange you said everything changed
You felt as if you'd just woke up
And you said “this is the first day of my life
I’m glad I didn’t die before I met you
But now I don’t care I could go anywhere with you
And I’d probably be happy”

So if you want to be with me
With these things there’s no telling
We just have to wait and see
But I’d rather be working for a paycheck
Than waiting to win the lottery
Besides maybe this time is different
I mean I really think you like me

!

Well, the report card was not taken badly. It could've been worse though. I'm going to my cousin's senior exhibition tonight too! So that's good. Today has been pretty good. I still have about a million questions to answer as an analysis of a short story (Miriam by Truman Capote) and a short speech to write/formulate, but I'll manage.

Things are looking up. For a little anyway.

baddd

I'm in like the worst mood. Honestly today is not making me look forward to tomorrow. I don't want to do my english homework. I don't want to study for Italian. I don't want to worry about my impending trip upstate that was moved a day ahead due to certain circumstances. I don't want to be yelled at for the B- I have on my report card. Or for my health grade which I know is gonna suck (for the record, it is totally not my fault)! !!!!!!!!!!!!! @#$! $@!#* *%?!
mess mess mess mess

today is not helping me at all

life is literally falling apart

the only good thing is my new haircut

but honestly that's not going to make life better

i still have a billion questions to answer

and a speech to formulate

and all this shit that's never going to get done because i'm too lazy to bother and too worried and aggravated to concentrate on it and my brother's in the next room playing guitar hero without a care in the world and i'm stressing because i don't think i can handle being criticized for anything right now much less being yelled at for having a not awesome report card. biggest run on ever.